Can I start today over please?

Every Friday morning I go to the library to assist with the crafts for the Christian Wee Learn group. This morning I got up just a few minutes late, so I was hoping to have a little bit of quiet time before starting the madness that is the school age group. I had to take Petey out first (Murray was left upstairs with Blair to ensure maximum quietness). Petey is a sissy dog and doesn't like to get his feet wet. Unfortunately for him, it rained last night. It took him a good ten minutes to get over this and find an appropriate place to lift his leg. I glanced up at the apartment and noticed Murray looking out the window feeling very left out. We went back in so I could make my tea and have breakfast. As I was pouring milk on my cereal, Blair released the beast named Murray, who immediately came charging down the stairs. Of course he wanted out. I, however, was not going to waste a perfectly good bowl of cereal on him. I made him wait. After many much whimpering on his part, I finished my cereal and took him out. He peed as soon as he hit the ground. (Petey, you need to take note of this.) I took him back in and grabbed my cereal bowl and headed out with it to dump my milk (because consuming the milk that the cereal was sitting in is quite repulsive). On my way out I shut the screen door pretty hard to ensure that Petey would not make a run for it, as he likes to do, because as I discovered a few days ago, it is not fun to chase him down the yard with no shoes and no bra. After dumping my milk (which I have to do outside and not in the sink because then there's left over cereal in the sink that I have to take out and put in the trash, and that's almost as repulsive as drinking the left over milk), I tried to enter the house. Now introducing problem one of my morning: the door was jammed. I pulled and tugged and grunted with all my might (which is more than you might think at first glance), but it was all to no avail. The door absolutely would not budge. I glanced around and started trudging around the apartment to the front door. Fortunately for me, we live on the end of the building and not in the middle, which would have been quite unfortunate, seeing as to how I was wearing no shoes. I began ringing the doorbell and knocking. This, as I am sure you can imagine, got Murray all riled up. He started going crazy. I was thinking, "Excellent! The more noise, the better. It will wake up Blair." Blair was still upstairs in the bedroom asleep, probably thinking, "Rachel is awake and downstairs. She'll get the door." After about a minute or so of knocking, he came down, thinking it was the neighbors complaining about the dogs. He was rather surprised to see me. I told him it was a good thing it wasn't someone important at the door, since his shirt was inside out and backwards. I called around and got the number of the children's librarian, Sabrina, to let her know I would be a little late, and then went upstairs to get ready. I took my cell phone with me. I quickly pulled on a pair of jeans, catching my toe in a hole at the bottom, nearly toppling. Blair was back in bed at this point, staring at me with a look that seemed to say, "Please be careful." I shoved my phone into my back pocket so I wouldn't forget it when I left. Keep this little detail in the back of your mind as you continue to read. I quickly found a shirt that was clean, threw on a little make-up, and went to brush my teeth. Now, in all of the excitement of the morning, I had forgotten to pee, so after I brushed my teeth, I decided to pee before I left the house. Remember that detail about the phone I told you to remember, how I had shoved it into my back pocket so I wouldn't forget it? Well, I forgot about it. It proceeded to fall into the toilet. Yup, you guessed it, my phone died. I ran into the bedroom without peeing and looked rather sheepishly at Blair and said, "This fell in the toilet. Can you fix it while I'm gone?" Blair looked at me like I had two heads. "You're kidding, right?" No. No kidding taking place here. So I finally got to pee and rushed out the door, barely making it to the library on time. So, can I please go back to bed and start over?